Rionionin

To anyone who might read this/care: I am in a weird, bubbly spirit for the first time in longer than I can remember. I don't want this day to end at night, but instead take flight into a new kind of life. Unfortunately I don't have the right connections or people around me f,or that to happen, but it's only FOUR DAYS UNTIL PRIDE so maybe stuff will happen there. I hope so. I haven't broken out of my shell completely yet and I probably won't for several years yet, but some pretty big holes have been knocked in it recently and the tarnished tatters of my self are going to take advantage of it. I have only the crazy dickishness of a cowardly id

So, I'm back. Again. This time I'm going to try to stay, or at least be consistent. I think the worst parts of my spiraling life have blown through so now I have to just pick up the scattered pieces of my mind and keep dredging along. Suddenly the future appears a bit overwhelming, with so many possible futures. Most end the same way, but some are so radically different. How will I end up and where? I used to delude myself and dream that by now I'd be used to existential mayhem, but I'm not and never will be. I'm tired of hiding and I'm sick of everything in my life going unsaid, but I know that it has to stay that way for a while yet.

For some reason, DA keeps putting my sketch in the scraps part of my gallery rather than the place I've told it to go multiple times, which is silly seeing as how that drawing is finished. In other news, I've determined that Chris Pohl is officially an attractive human though he is a middle aged German man I've never met and he is certainly not the one who takes me to the movies. Despite my irritation at DA, my now legitimate paranoia of being shipped off, and my stress from way too many major research projects in school, I feel absolutely fantastic for the first time in a long while.